Fool's mate

The agony of getting a sim card

EDIT: Added Day 5

I should do it systematically, day by day.

Everything happened in Garden City which is 15min walk + 10min bus ride away from home.

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Day 1

I visited Telechoice, which is a reseller of Optus and Virgin Mobile.

Wanted to get a post-paid sim card for 12 months with Optus.

The staff named me a list of required documents to apply for it, and I missed out on bank statement.

Day 2

Visited Teleshoice again. The staff recommended me to use Virgin Mobile’s plan instead since the plan covers international call. Good. They also allowed me to port my old Optus prepaid number over.

Provided all the documents, including the latest bank statement available, which is printed from my online banking account.

The staff checked my documents, and realised that I do not fulfill the 100 points requirement.

I had the following
- Passport (30 points)
- Bank statement (30 points)
- ATM card (30 points)

The next possible thing that I can provide is Overseas Student Health Cover (OSHC), which is worth 20 points. However, my card expired last year. So I went home and update the details on OSHC site. Ordered a new card and printed out the temporary document on paper.

I went back to Telechoice. This time round, the problem was that my bank statement did not cover last 3 months old. That was the newest bank statement I can provide and it only covered till October. So I just went home.

Logged on to my online banking account when I was home.

I set the date of the requested statement which covered the duration of last 3 months. Error appeared!

I called the hotline of Commonwealth Bank. 8 times for 2 days. Held on to the line for 20-30min each. No help at all.

Below is my tweet history with Commonwealth Bank.

Me: I need to provide bank statement for the past 3 months to apply for my Virgin Mobile number, and @CommBank only has up to October.

Bank: @mrmaxilicious Hi Max, to organise an account statement, please contact our Helpdesk on 132221, 24/7 where a specialist can assist. Thanks

Me: @CommBank I called for 2 days, a total of 8 times, and held the line for 20-30min each. I still don’t get help. #bankoftheyear

Bank: @mrmaxilicious Hi Max, we’d be more than happy to help organise a statement. Please DM us your contact details and we’ll be in touch. Thanks.

Day 3

I, physically, visited a Commonwealth Bank branch. Got my bank statement for the last 3 months.

Went back to Telechoice. Filled in the forms and everything. The staff photocopied all of my documents, passport, bank statement, E-Visa, OSHC and ATM card.

The staff submitted the application online after I signed everything. It was rejected. He then called Virgin Mobile, and was told that I needed to wait for 24 hours.

How efficient.

Day 4

Visited Telechoice again.

Apparently, it wasn’t ready yet. The staff called again, and this time round the person at the other end of the phone said that the photocopy of my passport wasn’t clear enough. So, photocopied my passport and sent it over again.

The staff told me to wait for another 24 hours again.

What the fuck?

Pretty fed up and I told them that I didn’t want it anymore. I took back all the photocopied documents they were holding on and went to Optus shop.

An Optus staff checked my documents and everything seemed fine. Then he asked if I’m living in ‘Address A’, which was printed on the bank statement. I replied ‘no’, since that was the old address that I had more than one year ago.

He said that he couldn’t do it for me because I’m not living in the stated address on the bank statement. We then had an interesting conversation.

Me: It doesn’t really make sense. So I can just sign up with the address on the bank statement, then I move the next day. I don’t have to come down to your shop bring an updated copy of bank statement with the new address, do I?

Staff: You’re right. But the thing is that, I know about it now.

Me: There is a reason why I didn’t update my address. There is a security feature for online banking whereby I need to key in a Netcode to verify my identity before I can change my address. Everytime, a Netcode is sent to the very number that I wanted to port over from my past Optus prepaid service. The number expired long ago. So, if I don’t get the plan with my old number, then I won’t be able to change my address on my bank statement.

Staff: Let me check. (Enter a room)

- After several minutes -

Staff: I’m afraid I can’t do it. You need to have the updated address on the bank statement.

Several choices came to my mind at that point,
1. Visit another Optus shop and lie that I still live in the old address.
2. Go to a branch of the bank and change my address.
3. Get from another company, which probably have the same problem.

I choice 2.

The bank staff told me that they couldn’t provide me with a bank statement with the updated address until the next day. So they printed me something with an official stamp to prove that I had changed my address with them.

Went back to Optus. They insisted on having a bank statement with the new address.

I just took back all the photocopied documents they had and left.

Next, I visited Virgin Mobile shop. The first thing I asked is whether I can get the service on the spot. The answer is a clear yes. I asked again just to confirm, and the answer was consistent.

We sat down and the staff asked for my documents. Apparently, I know more than the staff. What’s required etc. She took my passport, E-Visa, ATM card and bank statement. We then started filling in the forms. She kept making mistakes and I had to sign over every correction she made, which was fine. As she was listing the documents I provided the form, she realised that I did not have 100 points (just like what happened earlier). I provided my OSHC slip. She wasn’t too sure about it. So I actually took her file, and flipped to the page that had info on that. I pointed at one of he lines that stated that OSHC is worth 20 points.

Come on! I had so much experience in just few days.

The next problem came. She got my assigned plan wrong, so we had to fill in all over again.

Just when I thought everything was finally gonna be done, she told me that I needed to wait for 24 hours and come back the following day.

F-U-C-K.

Which part of the “Can I get it on the spot today?” did she not understand?

Moron.

I just got tired with all the shit, and carried on with it. Gonna go back the next day.

She then asked for all my documents again, so that she could photocopy them again. She asked another staff about my Visa, and the other staff said that they only accept a Visa sticker on my passport and not E-Visa. I had to explain to them that E-Visa is the current document used and sticker is no longer used by the embassy. They insisted in their own way and said that they gonna loss their jobs if they accepted my E-Visa.

They weren’t listening. Only E-Visa will be issued!

I was pissed. I collected back my stuff and left.

Day 5

I printed out my new bank statement with the new address. It doesn’t exactly have any transaction on it, and is certainly not ‘last 3 months’. I made a call to Optus to ensure that it still works.

So…

I traveled to Garden City again, for the fifth time of the week. Walked to Optus.

Presented document.

The staff said that the name on my ATM card is ‘SIK C YU’ and not ‘SIK CHUEN YU’, so it won’t work. Also, the name on my passport is ‘Yu Sik Chuen’, so they don’t tally.

How ridiculous is that!!!

After I asked why there wasn’t such problem yesterday, he explained that it was his colleague’s fault for not picking it up.

WTF.

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In the end, I just went for a prepaid SIM card with Virgin Mobile.

FML.